So, I'm living in Vancouver now. I would apologise for the lack of blogging but it would probably be annoying to read and even more so for me to write. So I digress. Now that I've been living in Vancouver for just over 4months I feel I am a somewhat qualified to comment on some things Canadian, from a foreigners perspective. Here's the tiny morsels of wisdom I can give you thus far.
This won't be news to some of you but Canada is MASS-HOOSIVE. Seriously. So all those maps out there depicting Ireland as this small quite legible country in the Atlantic are lies, lies I tell you. It's microscopic. It took me a day to get to Vancouver Island. Incidentally this is the size of Ireland and then some. A day. Donegal to Cork takes 8 hours. Anyhow, I just thought I'd tell you we were all being fooled and if you ever think you can take a trip to Vancouver Island and still be back in time for an interview the next morning then you'd be wrong. Plan ahead.
Canada is every bit as beautiful as all those pictures tell you. Just walking around here makes you happy. I recommend soundtracking these walks to some Paolo Nutini to achieve ultimate elation. I'm actually being sincere.
It RAINS here. You know how in your head you somehow don't connect real life and living abroad and you have this wild exceptions of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. Welcome to the real world which also exists in foreign lands. Vancouver has it's fair share of rain but it's the Californian coast in comparison to other Canadian cities so really it's hard to complain. If you're Irish you'll still give it a good go. Vancouverites have promised me an "awesome summer" and all I can say is that I hope for yer sake it materialises otherwise there will be a wyle bit of whinging done.
Which brings me to my next point. Canadians are a happy bunch. Their enthusiasm amazes me and sometimes it knows no bounds. Sincerely, even the crappiest most mundane task/ thing ever, seemingly delights them. Case and point:
Coffeeshopguy to me (excited): "Heeey, how's it going?"
Me to coffeeshopguy (deadpan): "Grand, how are you?"
Coffeeshopguy to me: (smug) "Pretty fricking awesome".
Me (thinking) Maybe I should work in a coffee shop.
Mostly I think this is great and an absolute pleasure but sometimes, just sometimes I think a good dose of Irish cynism is called for. *At least that's how I like to justify my mood swings.
Vancouver much like Montreal (apparently) has some very attractive peeps. Never has the statement "the ole Irish head on him" resonated so much. You can normally spot us from a mile off. The girls in particular are infamous and if your Irish and male your in luck. I can only conclude that they're over indulged in too much PS I love you and Colin Farrell fantasies ( though I am guilty of that one myself). Having an Irish accent on a man in Canada is the equivalent to having a rippling six pack, a Porsche and the ability to cure sick puppies while galloping majestically on a white stead. Use this power wisely. An Irish accent on a girl in Canada is the equivalent of having a beard. That won't be your biggest obstacle in your attempts to snare a Canadian boy though. Unlike Irish men who wear their lack of rhythm and questionable fashion choices as a testament to their heterosexuality, Canadian men dress well, are polite and often carry man-bags. Your first task is sorting prospective guys from the gays. Secondly, being able to have “the craic” (usually mindless vandalism, borderline alcoholism and language that would make a sailor wince) isn’t something most Canucks look for in a potential life partner. Thirdly, see point 2.
And finally and perhaps most notably for me, not all Canadians will find you as hilarious as you believe you are. My humor has been described European (read: not funny), when in fact we all know that I'm hilarious (read: European).
