This weekend was designated to Rachel and I indulging in some "we" time. "We" weekends can really lead to day's evaporating into a haze of beatific nothingness. Before you judge us too harshly I'd like to point out the Dublin is currently experiencing epic snow fall and therefore it practically forced us to sit in front of the fire for 15 hours straight, gossiping, guzzling wine and gorging on chips. It was amazing. Every month should have a "we" weekend. With the snow being so treacherous we managed to eliminate all guilt we may normally of had from not experiencing day light whatsoever. Sure wasn't there only about an hour of it anyhow (please nod along when reading that last line).
During this fifteen hour telly-thon we learned many things that are important for one to know in order to fully enjoy a snow day and some "we" time with one's own friends. Please allow me to education with some of our morsels of wisdom.
- Applying make up and getting dressed is a waste of time, energy and resources. Far better you concentrate on what's in the fridge and not fool yourself into pretending you've contemplated venturing out. Here's what you should wear.
- A small fire place can sure use a lot of fuel. Please ensure you have at least twenty logs, a fire bag and three buckets of coal to maintain adequate heat in the room. It's also a good idea to put on the heating and boost it every two to three hours in order to maintain that sauna like existence you've become accustomed too.
- Bagel's work for both breakfast, brunch and lunch. The trick is to have a little variety in every meal. We used eggs and coronation chicken (not together). One should eat as often as possible throughout the day to ensure you keep your strength up. Chilli Doritos are also nutritious and delicious.
- It is strangely easy to consume six pots of tea in one day and yet still not feel like you've had any tea. Make sure to stock up on milk and tea bags otherwise you may have to go to the local shop. God forbid.
- 5pm is an excellent time to begin drinking wine and not have guilts of your alcoholic tendencies due to early day time drinking.
- 5pm is much too early to begin drinking wine and not expect to be quite intoxicated come 9pm.
- Having consumed wine all men on television, even the inappropriately young ones become incredibly attractive.
- Singing men are incredibly attractive. Falling in love with X factor contestants is inevitable. Don't fight it. You'll come to your senses in the morning.
- Bacon is good for you. Please watch this clip over and over and over again to reassure yourself of this fact.
- Sometimes chicken nuggets for breakfast can sound very appealing.
- Mario's chippy in Harold's cross to exceptionally tasty chips. We can recommend the curry sauce and the taco sauce but never together.
- When drinking wine it is possible to spend €100 on call credit and yet still maintain deep conversations with the person beside you. Rachel's bank manager would never recommend this however.
- Drinking wine and eating chips can make you giddy and hilarious. Why not share that hilarity with the rest of the world. They should really know how fantastically funny you and your friend/s are and what your up to right now. You've heard about chatroulette and think it's probably fun. Why not, if nothing else it's an immediate audience and it's probably like going to a bar without having to get up from the couch, right?
- Wrong. People on chatroulette don't actually want to chat at all. They probably only want to see your boobs or in our case toes.
- Sunday's can make "we" time look like a dark polluted swamp of drink, debauchery, bad food, bad TV and lots and lots and lots of laughing. Counteract any fear or dread you might have by never ever being alone and watching repeats of 16 and pregnant in order to feel better about one's life.